MeRry gO ROuNd

我很喜欢旋转木马，可惜小时候我只坐过几次罢了，长大了很想试试坐一坐，可是却没机会。星期天公司在双威举办家庭日，还以为这次能圆梦，怎知工作人员说这玩意儿只给十岁以下，失望，失望！

唯有拍照留念了。。。不知道哪里还有旋转木马可以让大人坐的呢？让我想起韩国的LOTTE WORLD主题公园，真想下一次有人会带我去那边坐那漂亮的旋转木马 ^.^

没那么简单, 就能找到聊得来的伴, 尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛, 总是不安, 只好强悍,谁谋杀了我的浪漫?

没那么简单, 就能去爱别的全不看, 变得实际也许好也许坏各一半, 不爱孤单一久也习惯, 不用担心谁也不用被谁管.

感觉快乐就忙东忙西, 感觉累了就放空自己, 别人说的话随便听一听, 自己作决定, 不想拥有太多情绪, 一杯红酒配电影, 在周末晚上关上了手机, 舒服窝在沙发里.

相爱没有那么容易, 每个人有他的脾气, 过了爱作梦的年纪, 轰轰烈烈不如平静.

幸福没有那么容易, 才会特别让人着迷, 什么都不懂的年纪, 曾经最掏心, 所以最开心曾经.

想念最伤心, 但却最动心的记忆.

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Tonight can't fall asleep, it's already 1 am but then I still feel like very JIngSan, what's wrong with me?

Tonight is Saturday night, so many Saturdays that I have no chance to stay at home, so long that I have no free time to touch my blog, I guess my blog is dusty...

Tonight chat with quite a number of people, which I first time to chat with, HK girl, primary school classmate, chat chat and chat...

Tonight full of thinking, thinking of nothing, no object no subject, but just thinking...

Suddenly this song played, listen to the lyrics, quite like describing what and who I am right now...

It is not easy, many of cases that I've seen, always the same, almost all the guys are the same, they are betrayers, they like to be, they like excitement, they like fresh...

I used to worry about my loneliness, but I confronted it, and now I used to it, I like to be alone, I guess so?! Or may I know am I enjoy to be alone?!

I think I'm getting older, in terms of age and mindset, gosh, not too mature not mature, always telling myself, be young and stay young, or else I'm gonna find an old guy to marry...

Almost 2am... still not sleepy... but it's time to sleep my dear Carmen Lee, please take good care of myself okay?!!

<单身男女＞

刚刚看完了＜单身男女＞，很不错的一部爱情单剧，杜琪峰执导的爱情作品，我本身非常喜欢，尤记得＜孤男寡女＞,＜瘦身男女＞，很巧合的， 每一部戏都离不开男女这两个字，办公室恋情这点子还真的棒，太令我遐想了。＜单身男女＞是讲述一个女人与两个男人的三角关系，这女人爱的男人是个浪漫，有点大男人主意，却又不太专一与专心的人，而另一个爱她的男人，是个细心，聆听者，冷静，非常专情，却又有点缺乏浪漫与刺激的人。戏中提到“十個男人九個滾，剩翻一個仲捻緊，女主角要的是第十一个”。滚的男人叫作“地球人”，不滚的男人就叫作“火星人”，也被称为“第十一个男人或十一郎”，难到这世界上真的没有十一郎吗？！换做我是那女主角，我会像她一样，选择了吴彦祖，选择了一个专一，冷静，聆听，踏实可靠，细心和爱我多过我爱他的男人，也不去选一个我非常爱的男人，虽然有悔意，却伤得我最深，又曾经犯错也花心的人。在我心里，我依然相信十一郎的存在，就算这机会是多么的渺茫，我还是相信的，谢谢这部电影，让我有感而发，让我怀有这一个信念！

Last Day House Keeping Before CNY 2011

This month consider a very busy month, Ooops, I totally forgot that today is already 1st March, still thought in FEB... Almost a month i never update my blog, a lot of things wanna share with you all, let's start bit by bit from FEB...

In FEB, I did my house keeping for CNY coming and I found out that I have kept many letters and cards in my wardrobe, letter thickness is around 5cm ( not in the photo) ... Wonder why it kepts in my wardrobe? Just because it is a nice place to hide it (many secrecy in those letters and no one read before except me and the writer ). About the cards, some of it were bday cards, some were season wishing cards and some were valentines cards ( SAD to read the contents )...

This is the most special and meaningful card ever that I have received , recycle concept and hand made by one of my Malay colleague when I was 21 yr old birthday, it hangs each of my colleague wishing sentence including my Ex-boss, A Big Key for me...

Then, I found out my 纪念册 when I made it in standard 6, omg, I have a lot friends during that time, but some of them I can't recall at all... too bad me! My childhood dream was getting rich, wuahahhah, how cute and reality I was... And my dream occupation was become an Astronaut, because I like stars and astronomy, until now I am still a very STARS & CLOUDS person, sometimes I can actually staring on the sky and start to imagine the looks of clouds, changing and changing, full of imagination... Imagine how good if now I am lying on a borderless fresh green grass in a cloudy day, close my eyes, clear up my complicated mindset, start a deep breath, open eyes and start imagine the shape of clouds to become a furry sheep, a smiling bear or maybe a flying bird...

Happy Birthday To Myself : Carmen Lee

Today 4th FEB 2011, is my birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!!! First year celebration with single status is a bit weird, a bit mm zap guan, wondering how was I celebrate my birthday when I was in 16 years old!? Can't remember at all lol... But I am really lucky u know?! Because I have a gang of best friends, a gang... They celebrated with me when we had our cny gathering on 1st FEB 2011, i was so surprise, I thought that I will only have their wishes on 4th FEB, or might be not, because my birthday always make people easily to forget, cuz it is always fall on cny or near to cny which everybody is in busy mode. 

I was surprise that they make the small celebration which I was very satisfied...2pcs ice-cream cakes, it's good enough! And also come with a bday gift, which I chose for myself but I do not know at all at first... Thanks for 'cheating' me, cuz I am really like the gift that I chose for myself...

The watch actually I have planned to buy by my own one day and exactly the same brand same pattern, cuz I have did survey several weeks before at my place... And now I finally get what I want, I am so happy! Happy to have such an expensive gift, happy that you all celebrate with me, happy that you all still stay beside me!!! Love u all!!!

That night really drink a lot! This was the first time I drunk, drunk until I non-stop laughing, sit on the floor in the mall and laughing there, crazily laughing and sadly crying in the car. When the happy emotion goes into my mind, I laugh out loud, when the sad emotion goes into my mind, and i cry it out, laugh cry laugh then cry, totally out of my control, emotion control my feeling my expression... This is called drunk,now I know it! Worst thing was that night I vomit deadly. I started to cry while I vomit, but this times I cry for suffering of vomit, at that moment, I just wish that I could stop vomiting, no more vomit, please... it's gonna kills me...

I was drunk but I still awake, just I cant remember the details... But I know the gals team really tAke very good care of me, 'perfectly' is the only word that I can described them. Thanks for those who helped to clean up the shit things. Thanks for those who helped to carry me to the wash room, to the sofa and to the bed. Thanks for those who helped to took out my necklace, earing and watches. Thanks for lending me a bed to rest. I promised myself, this is the first time I get drunk and will be the last time I drunk, never will be happen again, never and ever! I don't wanna suffering anymore, I love myself so I must know to take care of myself too! 
P/S : Liquor can lend a person happiness and release out without his concern, the feeling is really high, but after released, the suffering mode will automatically ON, all the temporary happiness and feeling of high, everything will then still vomit out and return it back to the world because all these are unreal. Stay happy and stay real in the world, love ourself before we love somebody else. 
Love You

A Very First Bday Gift By Myself

Last Sunday, I have bought an Iphone 4 as my birthday gift, hahhaa, quite an expensive gift after all... but I feel so happy...

Do you see how GREAT and MIRACLE it was happenned to me?

I've been searching it at so many places, stores... Most of the sales staff telling the same answer 'no stock', 'wait next week',' don't know when got stock'... Really tired of the same answer given...If you never got it in the early morning of Sunday, I am pretty sure I wouldn't ask you to accompany me, drive along the road just to search for it. If you choose to bought the accessories in the first Mac Studio, we wouldn't have chance to go in to the second Mac Studio. Instead, the first Mac Studio has variety choices of accessories but you said you do not know how to choose it, so you choose to left. Until we reached the second Mac Studio, thing's happened! Everything is just like Destiny, nothing that we can control, nothing that we can expect, if you deserve it, you will have it in anyway, if you aren't, you will lose it in one day even if you get it today!

Happy Reading!!!

Heart Lock

最近发现，当我坐在另一个人的隔壁，我都会很自然地把手交插胸前，而不是放在腿上。很多次了，昨天才发现自己有这样子的小动作。不知道是不是在自己的潜意识里，有了一道很厚很大的防卫墙，而这个手势正好就是保护自己的动作，潜意识保护自己不再让别人侵入。我发觉我的心被上锁了，被上了一把好多密码的心锁，无人能打开，还是那人还没出现？！还是这道锁只有我的潜意识有钥匙？！现在的心情真的很放空，放空的心情真的很轻松。。。